BYOB: Opportunity and Responsibility

Some thoughts on a special privilege

I live in a state with one of the highest real estate taxes in the country but there is one consolation: it’s also a state with a huge concentration of restaurants that allow wine lovers to BYOB. That’s because only a small percentage of restaurants in the state hold liquor licenses – thanks to some (happily?) archaic liquor laws.

The fact that I can bring my own bottle to a restaurant means I can save money on a wine that might have otherwise been substantially marked-up on a restaurant wine list. That means I can dine out more often (thereby supporting more restaurants) and that I can bring the wine that I want to drink. But with opportunity comes responsibility- especially when it comes BYOB.

The responsibilities are several fold: The BYO bottle must be reasonably good. An inexpensive wine may be perfectly fine for at-home dining, but wine, like attire, should be a bit elevated if enjoyed in the company of others. It doesn’t have to be fancy- it just shouldn’t be flagrantly cheap. And if you are reading this Substack, you know what I mean.

The wine should also be harmonious with the restaurant’s cuisine. My friend Mario, a Calabrian-born chef and owner (and admitted wine snob) owns my favorite BYO Italian restaurant is regularly confounded by customers who bring high alcohol high octane Napa Cabernets to pair with his food. The alcohol, the sweet fruit and the tannins squash the subtlety of his cuisine.

While it is certainly within the rights of any customer to drink whatever wine they choose, I can’t help but think what greater pleasure might be had if they were to pair a Barolo, Barbaresco or Barbera with their lasagna instead. It’s not just a matter of nationalistic pride but the taste profile of the wine. A wine with a reasonable alcohol level, modest tannin and bright acidity is simply a more versatile match with food.

The final responsibility of BYO comes at the end: tipping. Because the check is a good bit smaller than it might otherwise be with a bottle of wine, I tip as if there were a $75 or $80 bottle on the bill- which means I tip (at least) 30% percent.

The one thing I don’t do when I BYO is bring my own wine glasses. I know serious oenophiles like to bring their own glassware as well as their own wines but that’s just a bridge too far for me. It may seem arbitrary– and perhaps even ironic since I grew up in a household where good glassware was everything. My father worked for many different glass companies, and we drank out of all kinds of cool glasses. Indeed, the wine glasses were invariably more memorable than the wine at my parents’ house.

This isn’t to say I haven’t regretted my decision especially when the wine glasses at a BYO restaurant are particularly bad. For now I’ll only bring bottles to restaurants although in honor of my father, I might keep a few good glasses stashed in my bag.

(Photo below: My friend Brad with two of his BYO bottles and his BYO wine glass at a dinner in New York. Brad has high standards for both wine and glass. )